Posted by Arthur on Long Island [108.162.219.162] on Sunday, July 10, 2016 at 05:26:49 :
A dear friend of mine who passed away a couple of years ago would always say "Let's go on an adventure with trucks." What he meant was that no matter how great the condition of a newly-bought old truck (or car) was advertised to be, and regardless of the amount of preparedness of the transport crew, vehicle and tools, and food, and water, and parts, and maps, and...well, you've all been there...
I have told the lovely Mrs. Bloom that I am through with "adventures with trucks." I remember with little or no fondness man such adventures. Sellers who lied, sellers who cheated, sellers who didn't show up at the appointed time, after I had spent a fortune on train fare, air fare, cash up front for a helper, and arrangements for transporters. Even sellers (and their imaginary trucks) who didn't even exist. There's a book waiting to be written about this subject. We've all been there -- done that -- got the T-shirt. Maybe a monthly column in PWA would give us all a place to vent. But probably the editor would shy away from a perpetual bad-mood feature. Might scare off some potential Dodgers.
Yesterday, Mrs. Bloom and I drove from home on eastern Long Island upstate to Cobleskill (or "Coblskill" as it's spelled on the village's welcome sign. I guess the guy responsible for the "E" called in sick.) The task was simple: Both of us drive together in her cute little Suzuki 4x4 to a repair shop where my son's 1995 Bronco was sitting after a fuel pump transplant. (Don't get me started on genuine Ford products vs a slew of non-OEM fuel pumps that crapped out after a few miles...several times.)
We get up to Cobleskill and start the Bronco. It sounds like it'll make the 250 mile trip OK. We drive down the road a few miles to fuel up and get on the interstate. being mindful that I am driving a 20-year old Fudd, who has had fuel pump issues, I am being very careful to pay attention to any weird noises. As we all know, Fudds come from the factory with built-in noises and problems. Just as I am leaving the gas station, an extremely loud, deep humming noise startles me, and I immediately pull over. "F" this, I say to myself...no tools, no expertise, no patience, and hours from home, in the rain. It sounds like the damned thing is about to explode. I can see the headlines now.
I panic. I decide to do what the rich folks do. I call AAA and decide to have the beast towed back to the repair garage. While I wait, expecting an imminent fireball from the rear of the truck, I turn off the ignition. The engine is off. The noise, which sounds like a jet engine, continues and it is coming from the rear fuel tank area. I pop the hood, and using a screwdriver and a hatchet, disconnect the negative battery lead. I don't want this POS to explode and burn right in the gas station. The noise stops. I look in the back of the truck, and there is some kind of improvised explosive device...no wait...it appears to be some kind of sub-woofer the kid has installed for extra bass booming. I cell phone the kid. He confirms that "yup, it's a woofer, and it sometimes makes a really loud humming sound -- probably a bad ground. It goes away if you wiggle the harness."
I disconnect the speaker wires, re-attach the battery cable using a convenient rock and the screw driver, (did I mention that I didn't bring any tools with me?) close the hood, cancel AAA, and drive home, with no further incidents.
Add another "adventure with trucks" to the right side of the ledger.
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