Haggis anyone


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Posted by Junoir copey [174.35.242.144] on Sunday, January 22, 2012 at 21:30:58 :

My kid brother, 76 lives 90 miles west of me . In what was once the little town of Weston Ontario , originally a Scottish & English settlement in the late 1700s . One of the most successful establishments was Bairds Scottish bakery , famous for its haggis ! Shipped world wide . They make tons of it . Now here is were I step in weeks before Bobby Burns night I speak up at the church again to have my kid bother supply the haggis .About 4 piles of it or 8 pounds of the steaming gut . My brother shows up at my place at 7 pm , that gives us a hour to get the haggis to the church.
We have a chit chat and just before we head out to the church , my kid brother turns pale . He admits he left the haggis on his kitchen counter ! Now you have to understand that the entire Scottish community has been practicing to roll their RRRsss , digging out kilts , polishing swords and daggers . There is no possible way my brother could drive back and get it . Dilemma , we brain storm , I come up with a idea we will fake it .
I could get some oatmeal at the grocery store , and some frozen goat rotties to mix in . So far so good . We burn to town get the meal and the goat stuffing . But nothing to put the stuffing into to make a haggis . I call Floyd , a local butcher from a pay phone he is home but NO sausage casing on hand . Back into the grocery store to the meat section , looking for anything to make the haggis in anything in a “cassing” to do a R and R remove and replace , only mini sizzler breakfast sausages and to small to put our contents in !
With my head down and disgusted I start to leave the store heading down the pharmaceutical isle . I look up and low and behold , rubbers . Hundreds pink blue orange and last but not least natural sheep skin , winner Copey . I gab a fist full head to the check out , little Diane asks what use would old fart like me would have with all these these , Ill tell you later Diane ok . I book it home give my brother the rotties to nuke and start a pot of hot water to cook the oatmeal . A quick trip down the basement up with the sausage machine , I throw in the rotties into the pot fist fulls of black pepper and mix to a thick mass oatmeal and we were making haggis .
We get to the church just in time , the piper Alex Thomas is warming up his bag pipes ,to pipe the goo in . Mr Brain is dressed in his full regatta , show time . Now Alex is piping , Mr Brain looks dashing in his kilt , holding the haggis over his head entering the church basement . Now the basement smells of old tweed jackets with a touch of moth balls and a hint of scotch whisky . So far so good Mr Brain is holding the haggis at his shoulders , the piper Alex looks at the haggis and stops piping stone cold . Alex is a worldly kid , savvy he is looking at the end of the haggis and I mean not the tied end either . There is the tip ,you see, to collect what ever comes out ,in to the end of Mr rubber well these parts never completely filled and Alex notices what is holding the haggis together and his mouth falls wide open . My kid brother quickly jabs his fingers into Alex’s ribs hard like and ushers him to the kitchen .I have a little chatt with Alex about we have holes all ready dug on our farmland for those who rat us out .He nods in a agreement
Mr Brains , Ode To A Haggis is spectacular in his oratory way . He takes the sword severs the haggis , the crowd of church goers applaud . I head back out to Mr Brain grab the haggis and dash the haggis to kitchen remove the evidence and flush it down the toilet .
At the end of the of the Bobby Burns night every body is thanking every body for their efforts . Mrs B Jamesion from the woman’s institute is thanking my brother for his contribution of the haggis although she thought it was a tad spicey . I pipe up and said that the sheep might have been grazing in a weedy patch and grab my brother and head out the door ~ Copey


I think this was Bobby Burns 02 or 03 junior copey




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