Posted by The Great Spirit Powwag on July 24, 2000 at 01:22:44:
In Reply to: Re: Let's hit Moab again ! I am a bit confused ? ? posted by Dr. Richard S. Cranium on July 20, 2000 at 23:34:35:
Dear Dr. Lameium Cranium:
"Bang Yer Bumpers" is a male genome selective mating practice that occurs during rutting season among the Moab-based little-horned gulley goats. They try to buck heads with each other but are prevented from gaining "ramming speed" by all the outcrop of slickrock in their habitat. They have to stick to curved, narrow valleys that slow them down to sub-lethal speeds. Even the weak survive. So instead of a loud "CRASH," their ritual mating head-on encounters sound more like the "clink" of fine crystal wine glasses.
Even the super-sized, mega-wooly red-skinned Dodge Ram must go very slowly through and over this terrain. Strength is still respected, but speed sucks. Go Slow is the word on the 'rock. And don't lock bumpers if you can avoid it.
As for bumper stickers, stick with the Teflon-coated ones. Not only do they slide very nicely over the slickrock, their residue keeps them rocks nice 'n slick. As you may recall from Geology class, it was the Teflon glaciers from the last Ice Cube Age that made all the rocks slick in the first place. So cast trepidation aside and com'on out to Moab and do you part to keep those rocks slicked-up today. Just don't run over any gully goats.
Yours in Slickness and Stealth,
TGS Powwag